


Sofa Not so Good

by MistyBeethoven



Series: Strange Couchfellows [3]
Category: John Wick (Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Comic Relief, Couch, Dead Icelandic Hitman, Flashdance - Freeform, Gen, Iguana, Lizard, Nosy Neighbours, Paul Anka - Freeform, Robin Lord Taylor character, Shopping, Still stupid, Tongue-in-cheek, sofa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 22:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19029007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven
Summary: John Wick and the Administrator go shopping for a new sofa.





	Sofa Not so Good

**Author's Note:**

> Still have to apologize for the stupidity of this series.

A few days after John Wick's return his dog came back as well. Although the Administrator lived in fear for his iguana Toby's life, the two animals seemed to become close friends as opposed to their respective owners; Toby even occasionally could be seen riding on the back of the canine.

It annoyed the Administrator.

What annoyed him even more was when the dog sat on the sofa. It left hair upon hair and refused to let him sit on it on certain occasions.

When he had voiced his displeasure to Wick, the man had only shrugged. Often the Administrator had sat on the floor, looking at the dog and feeling as if he were the assassin and his pup's pet and not the original owner of the apartment.

The Administrator did not like to think about what the dog and the man got up to on the sofa when he had retired for the night.

In the dead of night, sometime after twelve o'clock, the pencil pusher was sure that he had heard Paul Anka's "Puppy Love" blasting from his stereo more than once...

* * *

"Are you two nice men boyfriends?" Mrs. Milner asked John Wick and the Administrator one morning as they were coming down the apartment's narrow staircase.

She was a nosy little woman, with a pair of black rimmed spectacles perched on the edge of her nose. She looked old enough to have asked Noah if there was room enough for her on the ark. Odds are, good as he was, Noah would have been tempted to tell her that no there wasn't. She lived in the apartment beneath him and the Administrator suddenly had an image of her trying to place her ear to the ceiling hoping to hear some obscene noises.

The Administrator had looked at the assassin and then rolled his eyes behind the glasses he also usually wore.

"No. I sleep on the couch," Wick had said offering the woman something vaguely resembling a polite smile.

"Oh," Mrs. Milner nodded in understanding. "So you're married then."

* * *

Since John Wick had been staying with him, the High Table bureaucrat's couch had admittedly seen better days.

It had never looked worse then when, after a long day spent at the office, the Administrator had walked through his door and found an Icelandic hitman bleeding to death on its demolished remains. John Wick was standing over him looking slightly scuffled but alive.

"Sorry. He broke in and tried to kill me," Wick explained. "I was watching 'Flashdance.' He made me miss the ending. I couldn't forgive him for that.

" _What a feeling_ ," the Administrator thought looking at the corpse staining the upholstery of the couch. "He's _not_ having now."

Wick's dog was sitting beside Toby. Both looked on in interest.

"You owe me a new couch," the man in the glasses stated as he stood beside Wick, mirroring their animal companions and surveying the body.

"I don't want to think about what Mrs. Milner thought we were doing."

"I prefer to make love on the floor," the Administrator said.

The tattooed man turned to look at Wick. The assassin's eyes looked slightly moistened as he stared at the demolished couch. "What is it?" he asked.

"I was just thinking about how everything that I love goes away sooner or later."

"I guess you'll always have me then," the Administrator stated in comfort.

He left John Wick alone to solve the problem of where he would sleep that night.

* * *

Shopping for couches, John Wick and the Administrator visited several fine furniture establishments. It was not the way the Administrator would have liked to have spent his free time. He kept having to glare at the many newlyweds who looked questioningly at his piercings and tattoos or wondered about his relationship with the tall bearded man beside him.

Wick remained unphased or ignorant. He personally tried out sofa after sofa.

One was too large.

One was too small.

One was too soft.

One was too hard.

"Are you having porridge tonight as well?" the Administrator asked but the man looked confused. He had never made the acquaintance of a certain Goldilocks it seemed.

They left the shop empty handed.

Walking home they passed a street corner with an exact replica, albeit now in some what better shape, of the dearly departed sofa put out for trash.

John Wick was in love.

After the Administrator complained about bugs and rodents for a solid forty-five minutes, Wick convinced him to let him take it home. He even promised to fumigate it himself.

Each man carried an end of the couch. John Wick looked appreciatively at the High Table worker who was walking backwards. "You're strong for a little guy."

The Administrator dropped his end of the couch.

He sat on the sofa, folded his tatoo laden arms and started to whistle Paul Anka's "Puppy Love." John pulled the sofa and the Administrator all the way home by himself.

**Author's Note:**

> If anybody is interested in John/Administrator slash based on this series read "Paid" here:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/19240273
> 
> If not go about your business.


End file.
